My sons were born just over 18 months apart. Having them that close together lent itself to a rivalary which started pretty early. The older one was often given more responsibility and the younger one was treated like the baby of the family. Practically speaking, the age difference was not that big so at times the younger one felt he was just as grown up as his brother and the older one felt he had to grow up way too soon.
I am providing my own reasoning as to why they are rivals. Truth is, I really don't know for sure. I just know that it was heartbreaking to watch them fight all the time. Although outsiders brushed it off and told me it was "normal" for them to fight- I fought the idea of them being anything but close.
My efforts to unite them usually blew up in my face. And looking back I actually see how I played a large role in their adversarial relationship. I didn't intend to. My goal has always been to have them be each other's best friend. Someday I will be gone and they will be left with each other. Isn't that why God gives you a brother?
Maybe not.
Rebecca also wondered why her boys were fighting, in the womb no less! After they were born, we see how she plays a role in their division but while they are in her womb what role could she have played? Those boys, Esau and Jacob were destined to be rivals. Rebecca didn't cause it and she could not have done a thing to make it any other way. The Lord had a much larger plan which could only be carried out if the boys ultimately separated; and not in a good way.
The mother in me doesn't take that story very well. It's been 20 years and my sons are still at war. There are times of peace, no doubt. But when the war flares up it gets quite ugly.
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?:" Genesis 4-8,9
Good question Cain. The text continues to show us that Cain was in fact cursed by the Lord for the murder. I can't quite figure out if he was extra cursed because it was his brother whom he killed. Would the curse have been the same if he killed the water guy?
I am greatful that my son's rivalary has never resulted in violence. They both just have this way with words, cutting each other thru and thru. Words definitely hurt. They are grown now so we have longer periods of peace. But every now and then a battle flares up and I find myself stunned this has not gotten any better.
Actually, if there are any more battles in my vicinity I think I will move to Switzerland. I think there, it will be easier to Keep It in Perspective.
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