Sibling Rivalary

The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the LORD.  The LORD said to her, “Two nations are in your womb,    and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other,    and the older will serve the younger.”  Genesis 25 22-23

My sons were born just over 18 months apart. Having them that close together lent itself to a rivalary which started pretty early.  The older one was often given more responsibility and the younger one was treated like the baby of the family. Practically speaking, the age difference was not that big so at times the younger one felt he was just as grown up as his brother and the older one felt he had to grow up way too soon.

I am providing my own reasoning as to why they are rivals. Truth is, I really don't know for sure. I just know that it was heartbreaking to watch them fight all the time. Although outsiders brushed it off and told me it was "normal" for them to fight- I fought the idea of them being anything but close.

My efforts to unite them usually blew up in my face. And looking back I actually see how I played a large role in their adversarial relationship.  I didn't intend to.  My goal has always been to have them be each other's best friend. Someday I will be gone and they will be left with each other. Isn't that why God gives you a brother?

Maybe not.

Rebecca also wondered why her boys were fighting, in the womb no less!  After they were born, we see how she plays a role in their division but while they are in her womb what role could she have played?  Those boys, Esau and Jacob were destined to be rivals.  Rebecca didn't cause it and she could not have done a thing to make it any other way.  The Lord had a much larger plan which  could only be carried out if the boys ultimately separated; and not in a good way.

The mother in me doesn't take that story very well. It's been 20 years and my sons are still at war. There are times of peace, no doubt.  But when the war flares up it gets quite ugly. 
Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”^[d] While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. ⁹ Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?:" Genesis 4-8,9

Good question Cain. The text continues to show us that Cain was in fact cursed by the Lord for the murder. I can't quite figure out if he was extra cursed because it was his brother whom he killed. Would the curse have been the same if he killed the water guy?

I am greatful that my son's rivalary has never resulted in violence. They both just have this way with words, cutting each other thru and thru. Words definitely hurt. They are grown now so we have longer periods of peace. But every now and then a battle flares up and I find myself stunned this has not gotten any better.

Actually, if there are any more battles in  my vicinity I think I will move to Switzerland. I think there, it will be easier to Keep It in Perspective.

If the terrorists could buy homes.... would they?

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

I don't think it will be too far of a stretch for anyone to acknowledge that there are still terrorists that live and breathe right here among us in the United States. After 9/11, it was shown that some of those guys had infiltrated our society years prior to 9/11.

With that said, I want to ask you if you think that those "people" (term used loosely) would be interested in buying houses? If so, what would be the purpose? They don't do anything without a purpose and buying homes would be no different. Pay attention because this is one thing you haven't heard on CNN, yet.

What we know for sure is that the goal of any terrorist is to kill and/or destroy. If terrorist are living here, they are here to do one other the other. Or both.

So how could they accomplish either of those agendas by purchasing our U.S. real estate? Before you turn the page and decide that I have lost my mind, I ask you to consider this:

Perhaps, this mortgage meltdown is not just the result of innocent people who bought one home and now can not afford to pay that mortgage. Perhaps this crisis is, in large part- the result of people who took advantage of our corrupt system of underwriting and purchased 3-6 homes, without any intention of paying for those homes. The result is that this type of buyer would create exponential losses to the lenders. Further, if it were done enough times, it could cripple our mortgage banking system. Let me rephrase that, it actually could DESTROY our mortgage banking system. It could render thousands without jobs and thousands homeless.

Perhaps we are witnessing the destruction of our mortgage banking system.

If you think that all of the chaos is a result of honest, hardworking individuals who were bamboozled into bad mortgages, I beg you to think again. I believe this mortgage meltdown is more along the lines of terrorist who infiltrated our real estate professions and then sought to manipulate it such that our banks would suffer untold mortgage losses. Additionally, by the terrorists becoming realtors or lenders or appraisers (all of these licenses are way easier to get than pilot's licenses)... they then can be both buyer and seller. So, not only do they take out loans and not pay for them, they are able to make all kinds of money in the process.

They did not create our flawed system. They merely took advantage of our flawed system.

Up until recently, it was incredibly easy to obtain 100% financing on homes where the prices many times exceeded $400,000. Without too much fancy footwork, this type of financing could be obtained on more than one house at a time.

This type of financing, "subprime" is now what is crippling our economy. Although some of these loans were in fact made to honest people who really had no idea what they were getting themselves into, I fully believe that even more of these loans were made to people who knew exactly what they were doing. THOSE people had no intention on paying even one payment. Those people made a lot of money on the transaction when it closed. THOSE people systematically were buying and selling houses by taking out fraudulent loans at 100% of the purchase price without any intention of ever paying those loans back. It boils down to a form of bank robbery, pure and simple.

The terrorists attacked the twin towers, in part- because it represented our banking system. Now, consider that if they were given the opportunity to attack our banking system in a way that would make all of us hurt... do you think they would do that? Of course they would.

So again, I ask the question which is somewhat rhetorical by now.

If the terrorists could buy homes, would they?

Lest you think that I am suggesting this concept just a little too late, remember this:

...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

As long as we can focus on who God is for us and not what the evil has done to us, we will become victorious. It's good for us to remain aware and take better, proper measures to protect that which we value and contributes to our quality of life. However, remaining focused on the Giver of Life will be an absolute necessity that will strengthen us as we endeavor to

Keep it in Perspective.

Lots of love for money found in this Mortgage Meltdown...

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy 6:10


I have never been able to understand why there is so much confusion about the above scripture. I think it's also interesting how often that scripture is misquoted. It doesn't say money is the root of all evil. Most people would agree that money is not the root of ALL evil. And many would say money isn't even the root of any evil. That's true too. But guess what? The bible doesn't say money is the root of all evil OR that it's the root of any evil at all!! It says, "the LOVE of money is A root of all kinds of evil...."

Now that I have that framed up, hopefully properly, I want to make some comments on evil that I believe has a root in the love of money.

I think that much of this mortgage crisis is directly the result of a whole lot of people, myself included, loving money. Today, the Attorney General Andrew Cuomo subpoenaed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as he expanded his investigation into ``widespread'' collusion between real estate appraisers and lenders including Washington Mutual Inc.

If what Mr. Cuomo is asserting is true, then we can pretty much say our whole mortgage banking system is corrupt. That is one extrordinary large statement in a small blog by an active participant in closing loans for the past 10 years. During that time, every person involved in the closings from the loan officer to the underwriter to the appraiser and title person and real estate agent, all had one common goal: Close the deal. We worked as a team of people all committed to the same goal. Close the deal. Do whatever you have to do to get these buyers into that house that they want so badly and that our livelyhood depends. We were all on this runaway train and it was fueled, at least in part- by the love of money.

You will be hard pressed to find someone who was actively in business then admit that now. I wasn't too keen on admitting it either, but again- the bible is pretty simple. What we have going on now is nothing short of piercing grief caused by the love of money. People are losing their homes and many banks have gone under. Many jobs are being lost and this housing thing is now affecting our standing in other countries.


Personally, I think Attorney General Andrew Cuomo is partially correct. Heads need to roll. He is starting with Washington Mutual, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and some appraisers. They are not the only ones or even the biggest offenders but I guess he has to start somewhere. Most other banks have imploded so he may be going after the few who are left to account.

However, I also think our efforts would be better spent creating a new system. A system that is not inherently corrupt. A system that does not reward everyone on every level for having that above referenced love of money.

If we create a mortgage system that rewards fairness and ethics and sound underwriting principles, then we can once again become a nation that secures the blessings of liberty, to ourselves and our posterity... sound familiar?

Focusing on the solution will help us all continue to

Keep it in Perspective

Alternatives to Foreclosure

If you are three month's past due on your mortgage, there is a good chance a Notice of Default will be filed against you soon. This Notice represents the lender's intention to eventually sell your house at a Trustee's Sale. By the time you receive your Notice, it is not likely that the lender will accept partial payments.

It is important to recognize the emotional toll this will take on you and your family. I would highly recommend reaching out to counseling services that are specifically tailored to assist you with navigating your way thru the lender red tape, while at the same time helping you to cope in a healthy manner.

Counseling Services

• If you would like advice on how to locate your lender or find independent, non-profit counselors approved by the Department of Justice, click here.


• For credit counseling, foreclosure prevention services and other valuable resources.
  For on-line counseling.

Possible solutions

• Loan modification: Mortgage servicers can adjust the terms of your loan -- most often by lengthening the amortization schedule, lowering the interest rate or rolling the delinquent amount into the loan and re amortizing the new balance -- to help you bring the loan current.
• Short sale: The lender allows you to sell the house for less than the outstanding loan amount, takes the proceeds and forgives any remaining debt.
• Refinance with a "hard money" loan: You won't like the high rates and fees of a hard money loan -- one from a private lender -- but it may buy you time to sell your home and avoid foreclosure
• Forbearance: If you suffer a short-term financial setback (expensive car repairs, a medical emergency), your lender may provide some breathing room by agreeing to let you pay off your missed payment in two installments over the next two months.
  
  

We are currently facing the highest foreclosure rate in history. Lenders do not want your house back, ESPECIALLY if you owe more than it is worth. Check your home's value.

It is ethical and responsible to make every effort to save your home. However, in a lot of cases, it also turns out to be nearly impossible to do so. If it turns out that the bank does sell your home at a Trustee's Sale, do not lose heart. You are not alone, this has happened to a lot of people, myself included. It was upsetting for a time but eventually I realized it was a house and not a kidney. The biggest loss was that now my credit is shot. No problem, credit can be rebuilt. There are credit card companies standing in line to help me rebuild my credit. Furthermore, lenders are going to have to think up new loan programs just for people who have lost their house to a foreclosure sale. And you bet they will think of new loan programs. If they ban us from getting a home loan, they will be effectively shooting themselves in the foot. Bottom line is they want to make money and quite frankly they really don't discriminate on who pays it to them!

If you have your own story, feel free to leave it here, under comments. Together, we can all Keep it in Perspective.

Flood, Fire or Foreclosure? How did you lose your home?

I remember the Katrina nightmare. I refer to it as a nightmare, even though it wasn't my personal nightmare. Mine was coming, only not thru terrential rains resulting in a flood. This national nightmare didn't become personal for me until several months later. At the Katrina time, I think I viewed it more of an isolated event. Those poor people lost their houses and now they have to start over. My church gathered up a bunch of people and flew out to help rebuild. I confess that my compassion was not large enough to overcome my fear of FLYING to go out and help. I know, it's so pathetic. I wanted to go and didn't go. I hate it when fear gets the best of me.

I think that Katrina was the beginning of a certain type of phenomenon that continues in our nation even today. I am not sure if phenomenon is even the right word but that's what I will call it and just hope you understand. If you consider how many people lost their homes then and how many have lost their homes since then. When I say "home", I don't mean they necessarily owned their home. That doesn't matter. I mean they lost the placed that they lived and breathed. They lost the place where they fought and love and forgave. They lost the place where their kids slept and their in-laws came over for Thanksgiving. They lost photos and fine china and untold treasures. That's what I mean when I say they lost their home.

Not many months after, my Katrina came. I had a mortgage payment that had continually climbed and an income that was decreasing rapidly. I did what I could to save my 5 bedroom, 3.5 bath, almost 3,000 sq ft home next to the golf course in Folsom, California. Every night for about nine months before the bank actually took the home back, I wracked my brain for a way I could stay. I loved my house. I had worked very hard to buy it and I was working very hard to maintain it.

My son took part of the garage and made it his music studio. He played the drums and guitar. He would have his friends over and they would jam together. Honestly, they sounded like a bona fide rock band!

Many times, my 4 year old niece would come and spend the night. She liked to catch the frogs that were found in my backyard. She would get a jar and with her bare hands pick up each and every frog she found and then put it in the jar. One night, she found 10. She would then feed them and give them water and name them. Because we found so many, we would take a walk to the local pond and deposit them there so that they would not be taking over my backyard.

I have a half sister that I met during that time. She was in the police academy near my home and she needed a place to stay on the weekends. She would arrive on Friday night and leave on Sunday evening. I was amazed at how beautiful and how smart she was. She was not raised by my Dad and actually had NO Dad growing up. No male figure in her life and she managed to still be stable, grounded, loving and ambitious.

These are just small glimpses of why I loved my house. There is more but I am pretty sure you get the picture.

I came to the reality that there was no way I would be able to keep the home, just less than 30 days before the bank sold it. I have gained some perspective since then, but at the time, it was the most devestating thing that could have happened. I was an emotional wreck, to say the least. The feelings of despair and failure were sometimes overwhelming. To this day, I am not sure how I got thru it. I just know that I did get thru it.

I am one of those people who thinks that there is a divine purpose to everything. I do not profess to KNOW that divine purpose. I only know what I have learned since then. The biggest thing has to do with treasure.

For so long, I believed that I treasured the house. And on some level, yes that is true. Yet, when I really boil it down to the brass tax of the matter, it doesn't turn out to be the house itself that I treasured. And that's a good thing too! Consider this:

21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Mathew 6:21

If I treasured the house but then lost the house would that then mean I lost my heart too? What a bummer that would be! Or, if my house burned down would that mean that my heart burned up too? If this is true, it's not looking too good for those of us who have lost our homes to flood, foreclosure or fire.

Luckily for me, I had a lot of time on my hands to get to the bottom of that which my heart ACTUALLY treasured. It wasn't the house. Not even close. It was what happened in the house. It was the people who came to the house. It was the giving and sharing and yelling and crying and laughing. The house wasn't IT. The house framed IT but it wasn't IT. Just like a photograph where the frame has been broken but the memory remains in tact. So it is with the house. I still have every memory and each person I mentioned still remains and vital part of my life. We found a new frame and continue to treasure each other. Those treasures, as far as I can tell are absolutely eternal:

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Mathew 6:20

The bible is already a complete book. However I think if it said where fire or flood or foreclosure do not destroy... nevermind.

The real treasures in life are held for me by God in heaven.

Suffice to say, I didn't gain the perspective immediately. I understand that not everyone holds it now. Many people are losing their homes and so I aware of the multitude of emotions surrounding that event. Everyone has their story. Thank you for reading mine and I would love to hear yours.

Together we can help each other
Keep it in Perspective

Tips on Buying a Bank Owned Home in Folsom

Aaah do you remember the day when buying a house was as simple as a handshake and signing on ONE dotted line? Neither do I, but I hear those days did exist. Interesting that over time we have actually invented ways to make things more complicated, not less.

Enter the property owned by a bank. If you are thinking of purchasing what is commonly referred to as an REO, or a foreclosed property, there are some things you should know.

The first thing I would highly suggest is that you enlist the services of as many professionals as possible. It's good to listen to one professional, especially if you know that person; but do not limit yourself to one person's perspective.

You will need a lender, a realtor, a home inspector and an insurance agent at the very least. The beauty of all this professional counsel is that all of these people, with the exception of the tax preparer, can be paid (if you make the request known) thru the closing of the home loan. In a lot of places, the realtor is paid by the seller so that fee isn't even yours in the first place.

You could go to a bank for your loan or you could go to a mortgage broker. Since I am a mortgage broker I would prefer you come to me but the truth is, sometimes the bank just has a better deal. If you are a nearly perfect buyer with around 10% down and have been with your bank your entire life, then they may serve you better. However, if you have had some credit challenges and perhaps some gaps in employment, then a mortgage broker is a better avenue for you, especially if you are low on downpayment funds. The mortgage broker community generally is better versed in downpayment assistance programs and things of the like.

Before even making an offer, have your real estate agent be sure to run some comparables. Do not presume that just because you are buying a foreclosed home that you are getting a good deal! No way. Last I checked, banks were in the business of making lots and lots of money! Selling foreclosed homes is another avenue of that making lots and lots of money) purpose.

Notwithstanding the above, if your real estate agent discovers that the price is reasonable, then I suggest writing an offer that is unashamedly dripping with conditions that are entirely for your benefit. There have been times in other markets where we took what we could get and were in fact grateful to have the "winning bid" on any given home. Suffice to say we are not in that market today. There is a considerable amount of houses for sale in Folsom California and in a lot of other places.

A contract that is dripping- with- conditions- for- your- benefit, in my opinion, includes: seller pays closing costs (including buyer's costs up to 4%); seller pays for termite report and clearance; seller pays for home warranty. Additionally, I would offer less than asking price. Again, we are in a market that supports this type of offer. You have hopefully found a real estate agent that is in there to get YOU the best deal, not to get the bank more and more money.

With bank owned properties, it is imperative that you go thru that house with a fine tooth comb. Banks are not necessarily subject to the same disclosure laws as regular owners and so it behooves you to have that home inspector provide you with a thorough report. Do not mistake the appraisal for a home inspection. The appraiser works for the Mortgage Broker or lender. Mostly his job is to simply make sure the bank is not over lending on a home. The appraiser will also do a once over on the house just to make sure it's in livable condition. Beyond that, much could be wrong with the house that an appraiser would never find. I have found a lot of excellent home inspectors. They inspect your potential home as if they were going to live there themselves. It's pretty cool. They give you an entire book sometimes on all of the details of the house. In my estimation, the home inspector provides the most value out of all the professionals involved. That's not a fact, it's just my opinion and I am sticking to it.

You will need an insurance agent. There are so many types of coverages, just be sure you understand all of your options. Get more than one quote too.

These professionals are paid to be your eyes and ears thru this homebuying process. The more help you get, the more you will be able to relax and enjoy the experience of purchasing your home!

Keeping it In His Perspective

But Peter took him aside and corrected him. "Heaven forbid, Lord," he said. "This will never happen to you". Jesus turned to Peter and said, "Get away from me Satan! You are a dangereous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, and not from God's." Mathew 16:22-23

Whoa! When I read this, it was clear to me that Jesus scolding Peter. And this was a little scary because I could totally relate to what Peter was doing. Jesus had just finished telling them plainly what was going to happen to him. And when Peter heard this, from his own perspective, it did not make sense. He had been hanging around Jesus long enough to see some pretty amazing things. The water to wine miracle must have been quite thrilling. Or the fish dinner for EVERYONE. I imagine, I don't know but I imagine that Peter was confident that Jesus could and would certainly figure a way out of such a brutal death.

But Jesus actually calls Peter Satan at this moment in time. He calls him Satan, according to the text because he was "seeing things merely from a human point of view, and not from God's". I don't know about you, but I had never thought that viewing life from my own human perspective could be dangerous. I have considered it dumb sometimes. Or limited. But dangerous?

And looking back, I can say that many things in my life would have gone much better had I been willing to abandon my own perspective in exchange for God's. I wonder how many "traps" I fell into not necessarily by doing some big sin, but merely because I was committed to my own human perspective. I want you to know, these are real traps! Consider the trap of self pity. Or the trap of pride. I have experienced both and they are directly releated to ME thinking like ME!

I think the Christian population, myself included, spends too much time focusing on the behavior and not enough time focusing on the thought process that produced the behavior in the first place. If we did not have the gift of being able to see things from the Lord's perspective, then I am sure Jesus would not have faulted Peter for not doing it. I wonder if Jesus was frustrated because Peter had been hanging around him for so long that it was fully possible for Peter to begin thinking and seeing things as Jesus did. When you get to know someone, you will have a tendency to know their perspective. And if I make efforts to continue to get to know Christ then having His perspective will not be some elusive concept that I will not be able to grasp. I will be able to stand firm and say Hey I think this but God thinks this so I am now dropping my thoughts and taking His.

I encourage fellow Christians to do the same.